What Makes Love Last?

What makes love last?

Nate Green and Jason Lengstorf discuss their relationships — one many years along; one brand new — and how they’re working to keep the relationships healthy, fresh, and engaging.

Topics include how to fight, the importance of alone time, being open and vulnerable, “The Honeymoon Phase”, and compromise.

Show Notes

Part 1: Fighting

Nate and Jason talk about good and bad ways to handle disagreements.

4:40 — Science confirms the thing Jason thinks he’s referencing

6:45 — Dane Cook’s jelly fight bit

9:30 — Nate explains how you know you’re in a good relationship

10:20 — Nate’s wild hand gestures are apparent in his Twitter profile photo

13:20 — It’s spelled “Annecy” (France)

Part 2: Alone Time & Independence

Nate and Jason talk about why alone time is crucial in relationships.

3:30 — Chelle touches an elephant

10:10 — Skyline Restaurant in Portland, OR

Part 3: Openness & Honesty

Nate and Jason talk about the importance of being honest with yourself and other people.

3:13 — “Your baller phase got me through my starving musician phase.” – Jason

9:09 — “I really think that vulnerability is the new strength.” – Nate

9:20 — The Facebook feed life

14:49 — “She shouldn’t be my emotional sponge that soaks up all the shit that I don’t wanna process.” – Jason

15:32 — Lying by Sam Harris

16:50 — “Did anybody ask me for my opinion? Maybe I should shut up.” – Jason

Part 4: The Honeymoon Phase

Nate and Jason talk about how to extend the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship.

3:45 — “She just lets me be me and she pushes me to become a better version of myself, and I do the same for her.” – Nate

6:58 — “You keep evolving. So if the two of you are changing, if the two of you are still having new experiences, then you’re becoming new people so that sense of discovery that makes it exciting when you’re in a new relationship never dies.” – Jason

15:57 — 3 personality tests that improved our relationship by Nate (links to the personality tests are near top of the article)

21:30 — Jason explains why it’s important to have the same values, but not necessarily the same personalities and skills

Part 5: Compromise

Nate and Jason talk about what you should and shouldn’t compromise in a relationship.

2:10 — Jason contemplates a daunting theoretical choice: his girlfriend or his beard

7:05 — The complete Ralph Waldo Emerson quote

13:10 — The Princess Bride

25:42 — “I’m so ready for food and beer.” – Nate